copypasta station

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

keemstar wrote:

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

They targeted gamers.

Gamers.

We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.

We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.

We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.

Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.

Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as *bragging rights?*

These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a shitty head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who *enjoy* the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a *challange* when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.

Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

Spoiler:

Tyson wrote:Don't you fucking dare talking shit about Undertale, you fucking idiot.
You surely are a crybaby hippie hipster hater that likes to shit on popular things to be edgy. Guess what, dumbass? Undertale is the best game! And if you disagree you are simply ignorant. I bet you are a fucking normie that thinks Halo is better. Fuck you.
I used to be ignorant, too, not much of a gamer until I discovered the glory of Undertale. The characters, the plot, the humor, the gameplay, the music. It was simply perfect. It touched my heart and changed my life...
I've tried other so called "good" games like earthbound, zelda, yume nikki, off, but they all suck, they are all horrible pieces of shit compared to Undertale. Toby Fox is the God of videogames and Undertale is the masterpiece of humanity that all gamers should bow down to.

Tyson wrote:Don't you fucking dare talking shit about Undertale, you fucking idiot.
You surely are a crybaby hippie hipster hater that likes to shit on popular things to be edgy. Guess what, dumbass? Undertale is the best game! And if you disagree you are simply ignorant. I bet you are a fucking normie that thinks Halo is better. Fuck you.
I used to be ignorant, too, not much of a gamer until I discovered the glory of Undertale. The characters, the plot, the humor, the gameplay, the music. It was simply perfect. It touched my heart and changed my life...
I've tried other so called "good" games like earthbound, zelda, yume nikki, off, but they all suck, they are all horrible pieces of shit compared to Undertale. Toby Fox is the God of videogames and Undertale is the masterpiece of humanity that all gamers should bow down to.

Don Staloni wrote:why is every single shitter rogue cuck a fucking outmeme le pirate roughe ebin eyepatch yarrrr me hearties bones-rolling SHIT???EVERY SINGLE ONE. dont see any other rogues, just fucking LE EBIG POIRATE ARRRRR. im so FUCKING SICK OF THEM. EVERYWHERE I GO. fucking outmemes and their saber slashes making that shink sound. and the fucking dice popping all over the place so they can get their meme buffs. and then suddenly LE PISTOL SHOT FROM 1000 YARDS AWAY LOL STUNNED FOREVER EBIN!!!!! LE PISTOLERO!!!!!! ARRRRRR I BE A PIRATE!!!!!! RUN YE SCURVY DOGS THROUGH FOR HALF YE HEALTH POOL YARRRR grappling hooks behind you NOTHIN PERSONNELL YE LANDLUBBER

are rogues just in such a shit place that no one plays subtlety or assassination so they're forced into THE LITERAL REDDDIT SPEC? is outmeme doing more dps than the other specs? or is it just the YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF LE RUM YAR HAR FIDDLE DEE DEE I ARE A PIRATE SWAB LE POOPDECK MATIES UPBOATS ON THE PORTSIDE BATTEN LE HATCHES XDD appeal to all the LITERAL and ACTUAL memeing shitters and drooling retards who fucking think ARRR LE PIRATE YARR HAR LE SHARKS IN LE WATER LE SCURVY JOLLY ROGER ARRRR THE SEAS BE CHOPPY I AM LE FLYING DUTCHMAN!!!!11 fucking kill yourselves