highlights of the original health index thread

by **alyaza** May 3rd 2015, 1:59 pm

FD wrote:i walk like 3 miles erry damm day with 20 pounds on my back so i could eat toxic slime and be fine

FD wrote:baw fucking baw bitch unless it's a 4000 calories deep fried hamburger you shouldn't think twice if it's just one little thing

ams wrote:i dont take health advice from someone with like 300 bmi

FD wrote:suck my cock nerd i'm 15%

FD wrote:eating unhealthy food is like fucking an ugly bitch

before and after it's like "what the fuck am i doing"

then you do it and are euphoric for a few minutes and you don't regret it cuz it was so fantastic

FD wrote:i too have a ridick healthy diet and junk food doesn't go down as well but it's worth it trust me just don't do it regularly

FD wrote:i went to LEtin club area comp yesterday and it was between domino's 'pizza', a taco bell 'taco' and a big ass fukkin whataburger, i chose the whataburger for some reason and felt like shit the rest of the day

truly fit young man

anybody else notice how fucking easy it is to get candida? i used to get it at mom's house in the summer cuz it was too hot to do shit outside and she had a bunch of carby snacks in the house

ZAC wrote:i think eating an entire bucket of colonel in the span of two days sure does a body good

i ain't giving you bitches any specifics about my godly physique, but let's say there's a whole lot to love here

oaky wrote:eating healthy won't make you lose weight directly (calories in-out is real simple stuff and is 100% true unless you don't believe in conservation of mass on a human scale like tumblr fatties) but you'll be less hungry from ingesting superior nutrition and as a result will be less inclined to eat

healthy foods like vegetables, fruits, and even meats also tend to have very few calories relative to their portion sizes so you could eat a barrel full of carrots and feel full without packing on the pounds because there's simply less energy to be consumed

ams wrote:have I posted this yet? actually, I don't care it deserves a reposting if so, it's amazing

me
‎7‎:‎01‎ ‎PM oh man im retarded‏

oaky!
‎7‎:‎01‎ ‎PM what goes on‏

me
‎7‎:‎02‎ ‎PM i put in my height and weight but my weight was in KGs instead of pounds like i intended and i didn't notice‏
so ive been eating the diet of a guy whos like twice my size lmao‏
fuj‏

oaky!
‎7‎:‎02‎ ‎PM haha i was wondering why you were eating the breakfast of champions for breakfast lunch and dinner‏

me
‎7‎:‎03‎ ‎PM ya‏
‎7‎:‎06‎ ‎PM I'll miss it‏
‎7‎:‎07‎ ‎PM I only owe the world 2000 calories‏
Lame I almost ate that much for breakfast this morning‏
‎7‎:‎11‎ ‎PM now i gotta eat muffins or some pussy liberal shit‏

ams wrote:that was the day when I was packing down like a liter of whole milk, scoops of peanut butter, a shitload of trailmix and fucking buttery ass texas toast with 5 giant eggs (just off the top of my head)

it was fucking awesoooooome but I would have probably gained a few pounds already if I hadn't noticed that

ams wrote:read this

http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength-articles/iron-henry-rollins

FD wrote:i read the first few paragraphs before i realized it was a tumblr tier sob story

ams wrote:S'alright to be insecure that you're such a pussy that you have to attack other weight lifters who had the guts to make choices you can't. Henry likely doesn't mind what some scrawny cartoon-watching kid thinks of him.

The writing is the gosphel truth though. I was in a pretty hazy, in-and-out state from September until I finally took the initiative

by **alyaza** May 3rd 2015, 2:06 pm

ams wrote:ive got a fuckin ear infection

oaky wrote:at least your appendix will never explode again

ams wrote:back in late july

it was fun i got to go on morphene because it hurt so badly when i was in the hospital according to the doc if i had waited another 12 hours to come in it would have burst in me and fucked me up bad

rt wrote:ive only ever been to a hospital for any extended period of time twice
one was for pneumonia at like 2 weeks old, the other was for a urinary tract infection like eight years ago

i dont even remember it

ams wrote:they actually thought my appendicitis was a urinary tract infection when I went to the hospital

they made me pee in a cup and it took 10 minutes because my appendix was so inflated it was like pushing against my bladder and it took 10 tonnes of metric force to get anything out

ams wrote:not sure if I should keep eating margarine

on one hand it's way easier to spread and use than butter on the other goddman that nutrition label

ams wrote:You know what my biggest focus has been?

Posture.

Its a bad habit for me, me 8th grade drama teacher (bless his soul) taught me to stand how I felt comfortable, don't worry about it man nobody will care, I learned this is bullshit later on but its bad habit, slouching like a little bitch (esp on long walks). Bad posture will FUCK YOU UP. Take that shit seriously. Do I'm programming into myself to walk right.

ams wrote:my walk is normally fine but I sometimes catch myself with a bit of a gait

also you'd be surprised how much seating can have an effect. sitting with the right angle is good for yer back and gives you testosterone too

and OH GOD MY LEGS FUCKING HURT

it's right on the lower part where the foot transitions into being a leg mostly on the back. THE PAINNN

I cant figure out what i'm doing wrong, maybe i'm overworking myself but my legs feel like fucking stumps

ams wrote:i'm surprised at how easy it is to hold off eating when you are eating healthy

usually i'd sink a ton of money at the cafeteria buying taquitos and stuff with no nutritional value if i was hungry. now since it's springtime i've been packing down bananas, granola, quarts of milk, just anything with a lot of protein and i can easily make it through the entire day without needing to overspend just so i can focus in class

i can basically burn through the entire day just off my breakfast because i really crush it in the morning

FD wrote:lmbo my meals go like this

-forget to eat breakfast/not have the time after SHITPOSTING ON THE DOME (sometimes doesn't happen but u get it)
-realize the dank shit at late lunch is inedible and order rice krispies treats and water
-get home, eat some actual food
-eat some more shit when dad gets home
-eat at a normal dinnertime
-eat some shit at around 8-9 pm

healthy food? yes

healthy meals? no

ams wrote:hehe

I remember back 8th grade I would get up at ~7:10 and I hated it because I couldn't do anything in the morning. it was like 'struggle to get out of bed, get clothes on and brush your teeth maybe if you still have the time and then run in -20 C to the bus and freeze your nuts off while you wait for it to come while completely alone because you live out in the middle of nowhere even by the standards of a small town'

never again

ams wrote:I could get my mom to drive me but she left so early that when I got there i'd have to dawdle for an hour in an empty building so it was a zero-sum game

so, sometime in 9th grade, I went 'fuck it' and started just walking and biking to school (despite it being a helluva distance), if I was two periods late, whatever, that's the hold, I give no fux.

by springtime I was just skipping the entire first half of the morning and then biking over during lunch. this was around the time I was on OTB. it was fantastic. But I got my ass handed to me in summerschool lol. near the end of the year I wasn't even showing up at all. ¯\(°_o)/¯

fd wrote:i'm a total asian mostly because my school sends out phone calls if your little prodigy didn't show up to a period and rattles off the periods

but besides that i take pap and ap when i can and actually do my work and shit because i feel like the better i do here the easier it is in college

speaking of skipping my dad says that he's not gonna let me skip april 1 :( he doesn't understand ugh fundie

diseased wrote:my grades were bad last quarter

ams wrote:lol i hear the great lakes are soooooooooo polluted it's apparently a disaster

and i recall hearing that there's a super nice lake in northwest arizona that has the AZ-california border that lots of people fish on it's a rarity

by **alyaza** May 3rd 2015, 2:13 pm

FD wrote:jesus cock seth you actually bench 420? the best in my schools' history is 365 nigger cocks son that's fabulous i'd hate to see an irl picture of u it'd make me pertty much insta gay

lcke wrote:i have lots of stupid lung shit going on so i cant even sprint twenty yards without needing to spend the next five minutes catching my breath

its not that im so fat it's exhausting

i just cant breath well enough for sprinting

FD wrote:same here

oaky wrote:no fd you are fat

FD wrote:if you didn't post fake workout stats all the time I could say you are ohhhhhhhhh

oaky wrote:fd doesn't know the difference between someone saying they can bench 420 (that would be almost 3x my body weight) and real information

oaky wrote:it's ok fd they say that some sufferers of aspbergers have trouble recognizing jokes

ams wrote:speaking of nasty things i'm going through that nasty part of having a cold where your body is draining out all dem bodily fluids it made in the process of obliterating whatever bug you got

at least i can finally breathe through my nose comfortably but i cant speak at all without coughing hard first because of all the mucus back there

spinny wrote:i could run forever if it wasnt for the stupid asthma or whatever the fuck it is that i get in my lungs really quickly that hurts like a motherfucker and makes every breath feel like im inhaling fire

oaky wrote:im pretty sure that's called 'being tired' and its a symptom of being out of shape

ams wrote:"i walk like 3 miles erry damm day with 20 pounds on my back so i could eat toxic slime and be fine"

Just want to address this, I walk ~3mi mostly uphill to get home everyday with my life in my backpack and I can tell you it's not enough to justify eating badly. Walking is nice and easy but that is its problem, it's easy. You won't gain and probably won't burn unless you are doing it for several hours

fd wrote:w/e i don't eat badly so ur gay

also half the time my legs hurt because i grow so much

rt wrote:>fd saying he grows so much
>>>flamingdinner

zac wrote:every single fat fold of fd is straining with each step

rt wrote:you didnt prove anything kid, and the only thing "exercise induced athsma" is is you not doing anything for prolonged periods of time thus creating breathing issues when you do

rt wrote:which is totally why you have EIA, right kid?

fd wrote:you're born with it weinerdicks it doesn't just go away

oaky wrote:shut the FUCK up you fuckin pussy this thread is for health not excuses

by **alyaza** May 3rd 2015, 2:18 pm

FD wrote:yeah you try living with exercise induced asthma i'm sick of being called a pussy irl as i'm sitting wheezing over there in the corner it's not fun nerd

rt wrote:baww baww quit whining kid
i'm like forty pounds overweight and you dont see me complaining

FD wrote:AHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHBAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA

RTCITY'S BODY WEIGHT IS 60% FAT

ams wrote:he's still doing more than you kiddo posting may mays on roblocks and verbally abusing your mama

rt wrote:i just want to quietly remind fd that a 150 pound 14 year old ran the mile faster (9:59) than most of his peers (avg. 10:45) and certainly a lot faster than he ever will (fd would probs run a mile in about 25:00)

fd wrote:i WALK a mile in 18 minutes kid also i can't run a mile since running at all is basically a sprint for me but i could certainly jog

ams wrote:"i WALK a mile in 18 minutes"

unobjectively speaking that's terrible time i can walk a 10 minute mile pretty easily

ams wrote:superhuman breakfast: 2 or more fried eggs, buttered rye toast, 1 mug of instant coffee w/ whole milk and 1 cup of granola and optionally another large glass of whole

in my experience i can burn through an entire schoolday just off this, so i can easily skimp out on lunches, which means more money in my pocket that doesn't have to be fruitlessly drained into more food

spinny wrote:for the millionth time, no, its a different thing

i could go on forever, like my legs feel fine after running a quarter mile and one of my lungs is also fine

but the other lung? screaming in horrible pain i can hardly breathe when it first happened i thought i had ruptured my spleen or something (i was a kid)
there is something wrong with my lungs and i want it to be fixed because if it were fixed id go running every day i love running i just cant do it without my lung bleeding internally

oaky wrote:If it really is a medical problem then talk with your doctor because Viagra might not be right for you

spinny wrote:yesterday the bus stop i use to get home was closed and i didnt know the bus schedules for any other routes so i walked two miles to my moms boyfriends house, my shoes suck so it hurt my feet but otherwise i was fine

the bad part about it is all the busy streets you have to cross to get there, and all the assholes who will yell at you from their cars, which happened a few times so i put on my bigass obvious headphones and pretended to be listening to music

spinny wrote:oh hey i found something that explains the weird pains in my lungs
http://www.webmd.com/asthma/guide/exercise-induced-asthma

i should talk to a doctor about this i could probably get medicine to treat it. then i could go running or something

ams wrote:I've jaywalked in front of cars plenty of times and gotten lots of horns and verbal abuse I just dish it right back I don't give a fuck. Funfact unless you're on a freeway the driver is always at fault for hitting a pedestrian, you could walk out in the middle of rush hour it doesn't matter. So I don't care

People who drive cars deserve to get shit on by pedestrian master race since they're wrecking the environment due to being lazy and out of shape to get somewhere the hard way, I think it's a fair trade off

ams wrote:Sounds like a cheapy excuse for being out of shape

"My lungs burn when I run!" yes that's your respiratory system doing it's thing you fucking whiners.

ams wrote:I have a disease called "Fat tumbler user syndrome" it causes me to be a lazy waste of tax money who watches Dr Who and eats donuts all day

by **alyaza** May 3rd 2015, 2:26 pm

FD wrote:"asthma is fake" -ammy top student of dogmannu the buddhatheist sage

ams wrote:I didn't say asthma is fake i'm saying they're applying a real thing to the name of a condition that can be cured by not being out of shape

ams wrote:i'm SAYING that "exercise induced asthma" is bullshit not athsma is bullshit

spinny wrote:ammy my dad has serious asthma he has to keep the apartment a chilly 50 degrees every night we're there so he can breathe i know how serious of a condition full blown asthma is and i wouldnt make fun of it. whether or not i have "exercise induced asthma" i experience weird pains in my lungs and i hardly think that im as out of shape as you're convinced i am

ams wrote:LOL i'm not making fun of SHIT read the post literally like 6 posts before this one it'll blow your mind

oaky wrote:alright holy shit spinny listen up if you actually have 'exercise induced asthma' then there's nothing stopping you from overcoming it

if walking 1/8th of a mile is a challenge you need to step it up and get to walking and eventually jogging a mile

ams wrote:"OMG OMG OMG ITS ONLY IN ONE PART GUIIIIISE! IM NOT UNHEALTHY GUIIIIIIIIISE! IF I KEEP SAYING ITS ONLY IN ONE PART MAYBE IT WILL BE TRUE"

spinny wrote:dude i remember running the mile several times in middle school and every single time i had to stop and walk because i could hardly breathe i wasnt able to think or even really see after a point that was the LIMIT and i had barely run halfway. im no fatass either

ams wrote:Yea whenever I do something I think "what would spinny do here?" and then just do the complete opposite. It's brought me lots of success in life

spinny wrote:the school serves these greasy tri tater things that are basically hash browns and i used to eat them every day but realized how gross they are and stopped a few months ago and havent really put on much weight since

diseased wrote:im still eating mcdonalds everyday and now fd's dumb ass wont say "UM YOU ARE GONNA GET FAYT AND THEN I WONT BE THE FATEST BITCH ON THEUNDERRRDOMEE!!! PRAISE THE PECKING ORDER5RR!!!!!!1"

ams wrote:my mom basically told me today 'we are going to mcdonalds and if you dont get anything you're not eating anything today cuz we have no food in da house' so i shamefully ate this shitty burger and feel like im going to hurl now

ams wrote:YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS

unfortunately YMCA doesn't love Canada much so I can't drown myself in dose healthy Christian values while getting cut

ams wrote:I have an avid dislike of the guys who center their entire personality around the gym

hold on before benching this AMAZING 65lbs let me take a selfie to show how cool I am on facebook! LOL DONT MISS LEG DAY DAE GET IT

but if a man strives to be tough and masculine don't hate him for it, what would you prefer if all the men were skinny bitches and dressed up like they're at a pride parade? we'd all die out from underpopulation because no women would wanna fuck 'em!

by **alyaza** May 3rd 2015, 2:30 pm

ams wrote:I remember swallowing so much chlorine in the pool once I threw up in it. Thankfully I don't think anyone saw me, so I got the hell out of there before anyone noticed

rt wrote:i walked the entire denver art museum's nine levels of art which is probably like a miles worth of shit

also i basically had a granola bar and poptarts for breakfast, and a banana for luch so im pretty sure i'm way under today's calorie count

ams wrote:this is a good presentation for anyone looking to top up their noggins with food/medicine/other things

http://www.ted.com/talks/molly_crockett_beware_neuro_bunk

im still going to drink my green tea because its so good

ams wrote:HAHA

but i can back this up, I know a guy who looks like he would be overweight but he's actually a brick shithouse because he's obsessed with hunting game (that he eats of course (or sells)) and lives on a farm where he has year long access to farmer's market tier vegetables. guy's so big he could probably fool a liquor shop into letting him buy some booze lol

mac wrote:got back from tha doc im gonna be just fine so im going to drink more pepsi and eat gay-bacon and beef jerky

by **salty** May 3rd 2015, 2:34 pm

adding some of these

by **salty** September 21st 2015, 4:03 pm

i accidentally found this while searching for our fitness general thread and realized that i didnt add most of this quality shit

also hahahaha amsk8r only needed 2k calories dude must be a fucking branch

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