copypasta station

I'm thinking of a number between my buttocks. Do you know what it is? It's my credit score, and it happens to be seven hundred and twenty. The higher my credit score, the better chance I have of saving a lot of money. I'm thinking of a number; between four hundred and fifty and eight fifty. Do you know what it is? It happens to be seven hundred and twenty, which is my free credit score. This number is between my buttocks. This number, I am thinking, is between four hundred and fifty and eight fifty. The higher this number it is, the better chance I have at saving a lot of money. But the number is between my buttocks! Do you know what number it is? It happens to be between four fifty and eight fifty, and the number is between my buttocks. The number is seven hundred and twenty. But do you know what number I’m thinking of? I’m thinking of a number between my buttocks. It happens to be between four fifty and eight fifty, and it could save me a lot of money the higher it is. Fortunately that number is seven hundred and twenty, which is a number between four fifty and eight fifty. This number between four fifty and eight fifty happens to be between my buttocks. The higher the number is between my buttocks, the better chance I have at saving a lot of money. This number happens to be between my buttocks, which means I will save a lot of money. But do you know what number I’m thinking of? The number I’m thinking of is seven hundred and twenty, and it happens to be between my buttocks. It’s between four fifty and eight fifty. And it still happens to be between my buttocks. The higher this number is that’s between my buttocks, the better chance I have at saving a lot of money. Do you know what this number is? It’s my free credit score, and it happens to be seven hundred and twenty, and between my buttocks. The higher this number that is seven hundred and twenty is, that is between four fifty and eight fifty is, the better my chances at saving a lot of money. Between my buttocks. Won’t you reach in and grab it for me? I’m thinking that it’s seven hundred and twenty, and that it’s between my buttocks. Won’t you reach in and grab it? It’s a number between seven hundred and twenty and seven hundred and twenty, and it happens to be also between four fifty and eight fifty, and between my buttocks. Won’t you reach in and get it? I’m thinking that you can reach in and get it, because it is between my buttocks. Won’t you reach and and get this free credit report, that is between my buttocks. The number is between four fifty and eight fifty, and it happens to be seven hundred and twenty. The higher this number is that is seven hundred and twenty, the better chance I have at saving a lot of money between my buttocks. Won’t you reach in between my buttocks and grab this number? That is greater than four fifty, and less than eight fifty. This number is seven twenty, and you can grab it because it’s between my buttocks. It happens to be seven hundred and twenty, but do you know what number I’m thinking of? I’m thinking of a number that could save you a lot of money. It’s between my buttocks. It happens to be seven hundred and twenty, and it is between the numbers four fifty and eight fifty. It could save you a lot of money. A lot of money between my buttocks! But I’m thinking that this number is between four fifty and eight fifty. The higher this number is, although the highest can be eight hundred and fifty, the better chance you have of saving a lot of money. This number is between my buttocks. You can reach in between my buttocks and get a number. Hopefully this number is greater than four fifty and less than eight fifty. Otherwise it might not be your credit score! My credit score happens to be seven hundred and twenty, which as you all have noticed, is between four fifty and eight fifty. But do you know what number I’m thinking of? I’m thinking of a number between four fifty and eight fifty. Fortunately, seven hundred and twenty is this number, because it is between four hundred and fifty and eight hundred and fifty. But I’m thinking of a number between four fifty and eight fifty. Do you know what it is? It happens to be between my buttocks, and it could save you a lot of money. The higher this number between my buttocks is, the more money it could save you! I’m thinking of a number though, that is between my buttocks. It is still seven hundred and twenty. Won’t you reach in and grab seven hundred and twenty for me? Don’t grab four fifty or eight fifty, as these are the two extremes. These are not my free credit score. My free credit score happens to be seven hundred and twenty, but I’m thinking that you can reach in and grab it because it is between my buttocks. The number between my buttocks happens to be, well, I’m thinking that it’s seven hundred and twenty. But I could be wrong. Because your number could be anywhere between four fifty and eight fifty. I’m thinking that the number is probably seven hundred and twenty. Won’t you reach in and grab it for me? But I’m thinking of a number that is between my buttocks. Won’t you reach in and grab a number that’s between my buttocks? The number between four fifty and eight fifty is between my buttocks! The number seven hundred and twenty is between my buttocks! If you can reach in and grab this number that is between my buttocks, you can save a lot of money! The higher the number is between my buttocks, the more money you could save between my buttocks. I’m thinking of a number between my buttocks. This number is the aforementioned number between four fifty and eight fifty, and it happens to be between my buttocks. The higher the number is, the better chance you have of saving a lot of buttocks on your credit report. I’m thinking of buttocks between my numbers. The numbers happen to be four fifty and eight fifty, and they are between my buttocks. My buttocks happen to be between the numbers of four fifty and eight fifty. This number is seven hundred and twenty. I’m thinking that the number seven hundred and twenty could save you a lot of money. Do you know why? It’s between four fifty and eight fifty, and it’s also within my buttocks. You can reach in and grab a free credit report, that could save you a lot of money. I’m thinking that it’s between four fifty and eight fifty, and could save you a lot of money. Do you know what it is? It’s my buttocks! That you can reach in between! And get a number! That is seven hundred and twenty! That I am thinking of right now. The number is seven hundred and twenty, and you can reach in between my buttocks and get it. You can reach in between my buttocks and get a number. I’m thinking you can reach in between my buttocks for a number that’s between four fifty and eight fifty and my buttocks. Do you know what you can reach in between my buttocks to get? It’s your free credit report, and it happens for me to be seven hundred and twenty, and between my buttocks. You can reach in between my buttocks if you so choose, to retrieve this number, which is seven hundred and twenty, which happens to be between my buttocks. Why don’t you reach in between my buttocks? The higher that the number you reach in and grab in between my buttocks, the better chance you have at saving a lot of money, after you have reached in and grabbed a number, between my buttocks. I’m thinking though, that you might want to reach in and grab between my buttocks, in order to get a number that is between four fifty and eight fifty. The number that is between four fifty and eight fifty is less that eight fifty and greater than four fifty. And between my buttocks! The number happens to also be seven hundred and twenty, a number that is between four fifty and eight fifty, and between my buttocks. But I’m thinking that this number is greater than four fifty. But is it less than eight fifty? It’s seven hundred and twenty, and it happens to be your free credit score. The higher the number, the greater chance you have at saving a lot of money between my buttocks, if you reach in and grab it between my buttocks. I’m thinking you can reach in and grab between my buttocks a number that is seven hundred and twenty, which just so happens to be my credit score. Or, you could grab a number that is between four fifty and eight fifty. Do you know what it is? For me, it happens to be between my buttocks, and the number is seven hundred and twenty. Between my buttocks! You can reach in and grab a number between four fifty and eight fifty that happens so to be between my buttocks. If you grab this number that is between my buttocks, you can get a lot of money. Four fifty and eight fifty. These are the numbers that is has to be between. If you reach in and grab between my buttocks, you could save a lot of money. Your credit score could be saved a lot of. This could save you a lot of money, if you reach between my buttocks. I’m thinking this could save you a lot of money. If you reach in between my buttocks, you could save a lot of buttocks. Save a lot of buttocks in between my buttocks. Reach in between my buttocks and grab the number seven hundred and twenty. Save a lot of money if you grab in between my buttocks and grab a sember that it happens to be seven hundred and twenty. It’s a number between four fifty and eight fifty, and it happens to be a number between four fifty and eight fifty. This number between four fifty and eight fifty happens to be between my buttocks, and you can reach in and grab your free credit score which is between four fifty and eight fifty it happens to be in between my buttocks. The number is seven hundred and twenty, and it happens to be between four fifty and eight fifty, which is also between my buttocks. The numbers four fifty and eight fifty happen to be outside of seven hundred and twenty, which is in between the numbers four fifty and eight fifty. Which happens to have the numbers four fifty and eight fifty as the boundaries of seven hundred and twenty. Seven hundred and twenty is a number between my buttocks. You can reach in between my buttocks and grab a number. This number is your free credit report, and it happens to be- OH GOD NO! NO! NOO! HELP ME! IT’S EVERYWHERE! YOU CAN REACH IN BETWEEN MY BUTTOCKS! HELP! EIGHT FIFTY! FOUR FIFTY!

THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE:

why does he have such a fuccboi radio voice?? the intonation???? he sounds like he's voice acting for a kid's show. it's oddly soothing and attractive

Imagine a world where we're all represented by a font. Huh, I wonder which one I would be? sees Arial Too straight. No! Not in that way! Just, straight, as in unexciting. sees Badaboom Too.. uh... Deadpool.... BROADWAY! Now that's the one! Now THAT'S the one! Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY, where instead of putting a joke here I want to ask you a question. If your personality were represented by a font, what font would you be? Take a moment and put your font in the comments. I'm really curious to see what everyone has to say. Maybe find a couple new cool fonts to use. I'm getting bored with ol' Calibri 11. And with that out of the way, it's time to talk UNDERTALE. Now I don't think I've ever gotten this many requests to cover a game. Well, except for FNAF. And I suppose FNAF 2. OH and there was FNAF 3. Wait a minute, should I be worried about something here? Anyway, across the board on YouTube, Reddit, and Twitter, you all have wanted Undertale. And honestly, I'm glad you brought it to my attention. True loyal theorists will know that Earthbound is my favorite game of all time. So a self aware RPG in a similar style, WHOA MAN, it's like a gift from the indie gaming heavens. Undertale is a game where every character, from goat mom to grind fodder has a sympathetic design and a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you're saving or slaughtering them, the game makes you feel something every time you enter an encounter. But to me, one character stood out amongst all the rest. SANS. A skeleton named after the font, Comic Sans, hence all the font references at the beginning of the episode. If you haven't played Undertale I'm sure that was a really weird opening. ANYWAYS, Sans is, well, there's a lot of mystery around this guy. And before we get into it, let me put up a very special spoiler warning: UNDERTALE is a game best experienced blind. So if you haven't played it, pause the video and come back after you've finished. I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE you won't regret it. Alright, so everyone out of the pool and ready for the adult swim? Good. Because I'm feeling pretty determined to get to the bottom of Sans' mystery. So just to recap for those of you who haven't played the game and ignored the SPOILER WARNING, or just need a refresher, Sans is one of the two skeletal brothers who appears in the game. His partner is Papyrus, a loud, goofy trap lover also named after a font. But in the world of Undertale their origins are a big question mark. All you really know is what's given to us by a shopkeeper in Snowdin, who explains that Sans and Papyrus, quote, “just showed up one day and asserted themselves.” Weird, right? What's more is that, well, Papyrus is just kinda the goofy sidekick. Sans is much more complex. He likes fart jokes, but he's also incredibly powerful and deadly serious. Not only is his boss battle the hardest in the game, he's one of the only characters who has knowledge and power over space and time. He can take shortcuts around the world through ridiculous routes. Even is walking through walls. He also acknowledges that he's only one of infinite versions of himself, making self-aware commentary of the various timelines that you've played through in the game. He can even count the number of times he's killed you. He acts like an arbiter of this world, passing out judgements on the player's actions in the game, even explaining the secrets of EXP and LOVE, or EXECUTION POINTS and LEVELS OF VIOLENCE, just to clarify. In short, he just doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the world of monsters. But then, what, or who, is he? Well, the idea that he doesn't belong in underworld seems to be correct. The evidence seems to point the fact that he WAS, in fact, formerly a surface dweller. In the true pacifist ending of the game, as the group looks out onto the horizon, Papyrus asks Sans about the giant ball in the sky. Sans says, quote, “we call that the sun.” This is important because A, the usage of the word WE, and knowledge of the sun shows that Sans has a kinship or knowledge with other humans, and B, that despite he and Papyrus both being skeletons, or, supposedly, brothers, and apparently appeared in underworld at the same time, they clearly-- uuuGGHH take two CLEARLY have two very different histories. Why would Papyrus not know the name of the sun but Sans would? We get further clues to Sans' origins as we hear him say multiple times he wants to "go home" or "go back." He says as much during his dinner date scene at the Mettaton hotel. He notices that the player wants to go home and says, quote, "i know the feeling." He then continues, "maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you." As though he ended up in the underworld by accident. AND in a genocide run during his boss fight he says, quote, "look, i gave up trying to go back a long time ago." End quote. And before you say he means going back to the surface world, that's clearly not the full story. His very next line of dialogue is, "and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore either." Key word here, is EITHER. Yes, he seems to hail from the surface and wants to go back, but based on his dialogue he no longer considers it his home. It's as though the surface world he once knew is gone, as though he's from a different time. It's pretty intriguing. So we're left with a being that appeared out of nowhere, presumably from being from the human surface, but from a different time period, who seemingly has the power to teleport. That's a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. But here's where things get REALLY interesting. Sans has a hidden workshop that takes a fair amount of searching to find. You could say it takes a lot of DETERMINATION to unlock. Anyways, obligatory determination references aside, as you start to look for this easter egg Sans gives you a key to his room and says "it's time you learn the truth." After some searching you find the workshop which contains items that leave even more questions. A photo album featuring Sans and a bunch of smiling people you don't recognize, a badge, blueprints with illegible handwriting, and a broken machine hidden behind a curtain. In the latest update, one more detail was added. A handdrawn picture of 3 smiling faces with the words “don't forget.” so what does it all mean? Well a lot of Undertale theorists have been linking these details to a feature to a character named W.D Gaster. A ghostly character who never truly appears in the game. Honestly, covering him is a theory all unto itself, and probably one best saved for another day. Even still, none of the Gaster theories I've seen have been able to explain all the details. In particular, the photo album, and the badge. And that's what kept nagging me as I researched Undertale. A badge? That one in particular really stuck out to me. Why would such an oddly specific item to be hidden in the huge easter egg of a room? Something that supposedly reveals the truth about Sans? Badges just aren't important in Undertale. Then it hit me. What if this badge isn't from Undertale? What if this badge is from a completely different game? And was, in fact, the most important badge in the history of gaming? The Franklin badge. Now, for those of you wondering what I'm talking about, the Franklin badge is a pivotal item from the Mother series. You know, the one with Earthbound. Or, maybe you don't know that one either. Uh, you know, the one with Ness from Super Smash Bros? Yeah well, Ness is from Earthbound, and Earthbound is the second part in this larger Mother trilogy. Alright? Good. Anyway, the Franklin badge is a really important part of that series. It gets its start in the very first game and carries through the whole trilogy, saving your life multiple times in the process. It's SO important that nintendo has made it a staple item in the Smash Brothers series. So I asked myself; what if the badge in Sans' drawer was THAT EXACT badge? Well first off, it made Undertale connected to my favorite game, thereby making it even COOLER, but that's still a pretty big logical leap. I needed more. Let me tell you, as I started looking, more and more pieces started to fit into place. At the end of Earthbound you're given a photo album, covering your adventures throughout the game. To me it's one of the best, most satisfying endings in gaming to look back on your journey in picture form. And what does Sans happen to have in his other drawer? A photo album with pictures of Sans with people you don't recognize. Of course you don't know them, they're not characters present in Undertale. And note the word that's used here, PEOPLE you don't recognize. Not underworld monsters. So that's 2 items oddly linked to the Mother series. But then, how do the blueprints and broken machine fit in? Well, in the final stretch of Earthbound, Ness and his 3 friends must travel to the past in order to have their final battle against the evil alien Giygas. To do that, Dr. Andonuts (remember him, by the way, he's going to be important later) with the help of the science geniuses Apple Kid and Mr. Saturn, create what's known as the Phase Distorter, a machine that allows people to travel through time and space. Except, it comes with a cost. It can't transport organic material. As a result, the young heroes must put their souls into robotic bodies to use the machine, and thus, save the world. I played this game back in 1997 and I'm not ashamed to admit that when I first saw this scene, I cried. It's DEVASTATING. Doctor Andonuts says goodbye to his son, these characters you've grown to love and care about are suddenly promising to sacrifice their lives. For all they know, there is no possibility of them being able to come back home. It's this incredibly dark departure in the final moments of what was otherwise a fun, quirky, and colorful RPG. So what does all of this have to do with Undertale? A LOT, actually. But the first thing you need to know is that Mr. Saturns are known for their, let's say, unique linguistic style. That would explain the illegible handwriting on the blueprints. And the machine? I think a broken Phase Distorter is behind that curtain. Now that may seem like a stretch, but it actually explains a lot. If Sans wound up in Undertale via Phase Distorter, it could provide a reason for why he's a skeleton. He used the machine as organic matter and suffered the consequences. Not killing him, but turning at least a part of him into a pile of bones. That could also explain why Sans has given up hope for going home. Remember the Phase Distorter is a time machine. By being in underworld, he's not only in a different place, but based on how he talks, he's also in a different time, with no hope of travelling back to the time he came from. But the crossovers between Earthbound and Undertale continue. When you speak to Apple Kid at the end of Earthbound, he's blown away by the astronomical odds of Ness overcoming Giygas, saying that he's going to continue studying the trait called courage, in order to harness its power. Seems awfully similar to the same experiments happening in Undertale around the trait of determination, no? Especially since so much has shown that Sans was a key player in those experiments. But I'm sure you also want physical evidence right? Well don't worry, because I have plenty. During one of the endings of Undertale, we see Undyne and Alphys hanging out on the beach on the surface world. A beach that bears a lot of similarities to the tropical resort location named Summers that you play through in Earthbound. In fact, the geographic layout of the surface bears some striking similarities to the world of Mother. When Undertale's crew of monsters are finally able to reach the surface and look out over the earth, they're met with a beautiful sunset falling across the landscape of a tall mountain, a large city, and a sandy area adjacent to water. Notice the sun's reflection to indicate water, and a lack of trees in this middle section here, hence the sand. Well, in Earthbound you have the big city of Fourside, complete with skyscrapers, which you reach via a desert that just so happens to be adjacent to some water, and to the east, the mountain in Onett where a meteorite lands on Earth. I always called it Aw-nett. But if that's not clear enough for you, Mother 1, Earthbound Zero, Earthbound Beginnings, whatever you want to call it, it's had a lot of names, had a map laying out the same geographic landscape. A tall mountain to the east of a large city, separated by a desert, with all of it up against a coast. I don't know about you, but to me it seems like there's a definite connection between the world of Eagleland (Eagleland? Again, unclear how its pronounced.) between the world of Eagleland and the surface world of Undertale. But the strongest physical connection, one that definitely unites these two franchises, comes from none other than Papyrus himself. He wears a custom-made costume known as his “battle body”. But if you look really closely at the design on the armor, you'll notice some markings on the chest. Is it just a throwaway detail? Ohoh NO, that right there is an exact match to the ones that appear on the chests of Starmen, the most iconic enemy of Earthbound. And look at the way he stands! I always thought it was awkward until i saw the two characters side by side. Papyrus’ curved arm and hand is a DIRECT match to the curved arms of the Starmen in the Mother series! In short, we have some incredibly strong proof that the Earthbound universe is somehow connected to the Undertale world, which brings us back to our initial question, WHO IS SANS? Well, what if we took it one final step and said that Sans happened to be Ness from Earthbound? Sent through the Phase Distorter during a test of courage, carrying the Franklin badge and his photo album and his trusty backpack. Not only do all the items in the workshop suddenly fit, but so does Sans’ behavior. Remember, Sans can seemingly teleport. And Ness just happens to have the PSI ability to teleport. Now look the way Sans always stands, hands in his pockets, directly facing the camera. It's a very similar stance to how Ness is depicted standing in most marketing for the game. It even explains why Sans bleeds when you finally hit him. He is, or at least, WAS, a human. Oh and finally, Sans is only one letter removed from being an anagram of Ness. That's just a fun one. I thought it was worth mentioning. But if there was any doubt, we have to look no further than the creator's previous work. Toby Fox, the man behind Undertale, had previously worked on a Halloween hack for Earthbound. But this just wasn't a simple reskin. The Halloween hack tells the tale of Dr. Andonuts after the events of Earthbound. Remember, I pointed him out? He's the one who made the Phase Distorter. In Toby Fox’s version of the story, we see that after Giygas' defeat, the souls of the kids never return home. Instead, by going to the past to defeat Giygas, they create a new timeline that they're stuck in. As a result, Jeff never reunites with his father Dr. Andonuts. And Dr. Andonuts goes crazy with guilt, because HE’S the one responsible for creating the time machine, and extracting the souls of his son and his son's friends to send them back to what he assumes was their death. In his mind, he's killed 4 kids. And in Toby Fox's game, he's lost his mind trying to deal with that guilt. I'm telling you, this hack is DARK. that said, you see a lot of Undertale in this game. The appearance of Amalgamates, the first use of the awesome song Megalovania, the prototypes for Flowey? And the theme of having the choice to be nonviolent in an RPG, SPARING your enemies. But then why's all this matter to the theory? Well, remember, in Toby Fox's version of the story, the kids don't come back. They're stuck in the past, with no hopes of getting home. Just like Sans. And, in the hack, one character is oddly missing, with no explanation as to why. NESS. Presumably in this timeline his soul is in a different place than his 3 friends. Which brings us back to Undertale. 3 faces, with “don't forget” written on it? It's Ness, trying to remember his 3 friends. In short, Undertale is a continuation of Toby’s version of Earthbound, with Ness never being able to get home, adopting the name Sans, and accompanied by Papyrus, a former Starman, an alien force able to speak English and still equipped with his armor, and signature posture, but without any knowledge of earthly things... like the Sun. The pieces all just seem to fit. Now all we need is an appearance from Pokey/Porky and we’ve got ourselves a true sequel. But hey, that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY! THANKS FOR WATCHING!

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY VERY GOOD!!! DIDISAY IT LOOKS GOOD HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM YA IT LOOKS GOOD, BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN YUM ASI SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY LOVE YOU BYE WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS I DON'T NEED A RIDE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

suprised not me!! this goes to show you how evil and nasty is this country.they don’t care about black or brown people .donald trump was.elected president more than 25yrs ago it is part of.the illumanti agenda!! there plot is right on scheduele just like its,written.if we dont take it to there souls we will dissapoint our leader Jesus Christ .the devil is in full effect. to those who Love and Follow King Jesus and his lost tribe the 12tribes of israel you Wil wake up now and I mean.now.Fight The power and,destroy the wicked .evil white america .you are too blind and brain washed by the the devil.Open Your Eyes in the name of Jesus Christ our only Hope! que dios me los bendig as a todos Amen!!

These same jew rats destroyed the Sumerians and Babylonians who were the successors of Sumer.They were agriculturists and lived peacefully with nature.The jews overthrew the Babylon empire and started to do pure evil stuffs such as cannibalism,child sacrifices,sex,etc.These same neanderthal scums went to Egypt after the collapse of the Tower Babel and used the black babylon slaves to built the Egyptian civilization.They then became the Pharaohs and started to do pornography stuffs once again.Yew can see these blue eyed neanderthal pharaohs even recorded their disgusting fetishes in the papyrus.Now in the 21st century yew are seeing all of this happening to USA where the highest production of pornography is taking place and don't forget Hellywood which is owned by these same jew rats.harambe

I must say, this was a fun time coming down to San Francisco to do The \

New Tetris. Allthough there were a few problems. First of all being \

our producer.. D*N, my god.. is this guy useless or what?? \

I don't hate you D*N.. but you SUCK, and I mean SUCK as a producer. \

You should go back to testing video games, but I doubt you could even \

manage that properly. I feel sorry for you. During this project you \

just sat around and played video games.. starcraft and everquest. \

Don't even deny that.. when you WERE working, it was making stupid \

Excel (tm) spreadsheets to try and tell me how many bugs I had left \

to fix on a graph.. like WTF is that??? who cares.. I have the bug \

list in front of me, like I need to see it in freaking technicolor. \

So D*N, I must say this.. hold onto, and fake your job while you can, \

because once they find out how truely useless you are, you will be out \

of a job. I cannot think of any skillset you would fit into in this \

industry, so you better hold on tight. (This guy thought I could save \

a name in 8.4 BITS.. like umm.. .4 BITS?? WTF is .4 BITS?? its either ON \

or OFF, not in between... anyhow, Enough about you though. \

\

To Nintendo.. It has been nice working with you.. Alot of you are great \

or were great. Tom 'Snoop Dog' Hertzog - you were great.. one of the \

nicest people I have ever met at Nintendo. You and your crews bug testing \

was outstanding and I commend you for the excellent work. Erich Waas - \

You know we have been friends a long time, but I must say this. After \

you had accepted the ART form for The New Tetris, and later on your higher \

ups said it was not UNISEX enough, you slapped the blame on H2O, Chris Bretz \

in particular. You did not have the balls to accept blame for your \

mistake, and stuck our entire team under IMMENSE stress and FRENZY. This \

to save your A$$ from getting in trouble at Nintendo. I still like you \

Erich, which is more than I can say for the rest of the team that you \

screwed because of this. But I guess your standing at Nintendo is more \

important than the friendships you had here. You always knew we had telent \

and you recognized that. I know you wanted to work with us again one \

day maybe outside of Nintendo, I think you screwed up those chances though. \

\

While I am screaming.. I might as well say this: Niel Voss.. your music is \

freaking KICK A$$.. you are one really damn talented boy. BUT, you are one \

of the laziest music guys I think there is :) You could go far if you wanted \

to, but you just lack the GO for it. It is a shame. I wish you all the luck \

and would reccomend you to ANYBODY just because even though everything is last \

minute, and like pulling teeth, the end result is AMAZING. \

\

I am leaving H2O after this project to work at 3DO. I hope this will be a \

good move for me. I love H2O, As amazingly disorganized of a company it is. \

I LOVE the people, I have so many good friends \

there. It will be hard to move on. Of course they will stay my friends. \

They were more than just co-workers.. they were FRIENDS. They were the \

people I lived with, spent my days and nights with.. went to bars with, \

camped with, drank with (alot), did other bad things with (wont elaborate :)). \

They are true great friends, and I love them all and will miss them dearly. \

Allthough Vancouver is only a 2 hour flight away, I hope I can visit often. \

My best friends would include. Ross, Max, Scott, Jake, Bretz, Roland, Johnny, \

Sarah.. these are the people I love the most. And I wish you success. My 4.5 \

years at H2O were basically, making games.. drinking alot, playing pool alot, \

going to bars and raves and dancing while really screwed up in the head. THAT \

HAS TO BE THE MOST FUN I HAVE EVER HAD, and probably ever will. The good old \

days. These guys are in Vancouver right now because I got stuck finishing \

this project in San Francisco (Which by all means I LOVE and am staying (hence 3DO)) \

\

Well boys and girls, I just thought I would immortalize some thoughts I have at \

the moment into a rom which will be burned forever. This game sucks. The music \

is great but the game itself is not how we wanted it unfortunately. I mean, it \

is a good game, but some things could be polished, as well as sped up. Could \

use another month to finish this thing off AFTER all the bugs are fixed. oh well, \

woh is me. \

\

I would love to give special loves and kisses to the following. \

My Girlfriend Amy Bond, My Family (Joy, Allyson, Jon Pridie, Brant Sangster), \

My really really best old friends Selim Arikan, Cory Haberly, Jason Vasilash, \

Alfred Huger, Oliver Friedrichs. \

\

Goodbye H2O, it was a blast, and I mean that with all my heart. \

\

(C) 1999 July 1 David Pridie \

If you are reading this, you can obviously see this disclaimer. \

All this material belongs to David Pridie. If you find it and want to post \

it in ANY media format, you must get my permission or feel my wrath :). \

This text if it is ever read, is intended to be read by hackers whom have \

dumped the contents of this rom and viewed it. That is ALL it is for. \

And maybe some of them will remember me from the C64 and PC days, Martial Artist \

of PE/TDT/RAZOR 1911/INC/FLT/TRN/FBR, I was in them all.. and I made trainers \

and intros mostly. I thank that scene for teaching me how to program, because \

without it I don't think I would be where I am today. \

\

Well that does it 4.5 years and Two games later (Tetrisphere and New Tetris). \

Unfortunately I wont be working on Nomans Quest.. but oh well. \

HAPPY CANADA DAY. \

what the fuck is that lol

I’m now hearing this meme that says Obama, Clinton, et al. are doing nothing, just gave up.

Guys. It’s time for some game theory.

ACTOR ANALYSIS: The Russians enter the Game with a broad objective, flexible tactics, and several acceptable outcomes. Russian interests have been, for many years now, the subversion of Western institutions, principally NATO, but any will do. This subversion can take many forms: driving wedges between US-Commonwealth-Euro intel cooperation, break up NATO, create chaos. This game has been developing for many years, is asymmetrical, and much cheaper than building a decent aircraft carrier. Plus, the Russians f*king rule at covert shit. Always have. Ask a cold warrior. Mucho respect for our adversaries. They do clever work! Post-communism, they're reduced to Drunk Uncle status in the global balance of power. Mouthy, smart, degraded, much reduced in stature. Russians as **people* are civilized, artistic, enamored of brilliance and tragedy, and generally proud. And should be. They do not like this. From this position launches an initiative from an old hand at the KGB, now solidified in influence: Subvert for the throat. Go big. Go hard. While the West is frivolous and lazy and "Post-History," the clever take advantage. And here begins our present story.

Let's skip ahead to "Wikileaks."

BRILLIANT. Ingratiate the Left into this anti-establishment distrust of Western intel. George W Bush and Dick Cheney being slovenly, reckless idiots, the moral authority of Iraq and US intel is nil. In step "journalists." Stealing hard drives from US intel and dumping them to foreign agents? That's *snicker* "journalism!" FREE SPEECH! ROFLMAO. Oh, and such grand characters, so well run: Manning, Greenwald. So righteous, yet fragile! And feisty! Try a Twitter war with Glenn! OH YOU PHILISTINE, YOU JUST HATE JOURNALISM! sigh *swigs something strong* And Moscow must have been doubling over.

THEN, OMG, that worked so well that the pièce de résistance was next: SNOWDEN!!! BOOYAH! THE BIG GAME! NSA! PRISM! SPASM! (incidentally, the NSA was about the only agency the Russians took seriously) But then this EARNEST young man. He tells THE TROOTH! DID YOU KNOW YOUR TOASTER IS SPYING ON YOU? THE GUBMINT! IT IS EVERYWHERE! THEY SPY ON (*controls snickering*) ALLIES! ALL BAD! And still hungover from the rotten venality of the Iraq War and Bush's perversion of the IC as reliable, Wikileaks journalisms the NSA! DON'T YOU CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE. HARD DRIVES FROM THE NSA IZ JOURNALISM! Even when you take the files to Brazil! Honest! Ask Glenn! And then, automagically, our man Ed ends up...what's this now? In Russia? Well, they are such welcoming folks! How...nice! Langley and Fort Meade run out of bourbon in about three hours, and every intel guy in Russia is drunk, dancing on the desks, and LAFFING. AND THE LEFT! HOLY F**KING ADORABLE BATMAN! Honi soit qui mal y pense! How dare you suggest untoward Russian involvement! Journamalisms!!!! US intel snorts all of the Robotussin in the DC/MD/VA area. Putin calls Snowden "A weird guy." LOLZ.

Moving on to the current chapter.

MEANWHILE, AT THE FOX NATION FORUMS: The other part of this impressive op is percolating - the buttress of the Alt-Right. ONCE UPON A TIME, Dan Rather chased Nixon around a room asking him questions VERY HARSHLY and the notion of the Evil Media Elite was born. See, because Nixon got impeached, that meant the media was in on it! WaPo! NYT! Traitors! We look bad! And the media hate begins. Never mind that to know something in Topeka, somebody's gotta send you a newspaper or a radio signal or whatevs: The Media Is Lying.

Now, it's true, high level journalists and editors don't always see the world like Johnny Lunchpail in Missouri. True facts. But. Trouble. Republicans decide to create a whole new layer of think tanks and media outlets in the 1980s dedicated to The Other Side. The think tanks have a POV, but some are quite good, Cato in particular. Heritage came up with what's now Obamacare. AEI...ehhh. 2 outta 3. But then the media play comes in. The cranky insane tent pastors on AM radio get...a makeover. They become Legitimate. Embraced. Magnates start investing in outlets. Brand new pundits get huge audiences yelling about The Way Things Ought to Be (for White People). And it's more successful than free chicken and beer. The money flows, the ratings swell. An Australian starts a TV network in the US. What develops is an attractive, well-produced alternate universe. You no longer need an alternate take. You have alternate facts. Al Gore mutters and bores his way out of a presidency in a race against a guy who spoke English like he learned it from Rosetta Stone. And now, the stage is set for a metastasis of batshit nuttery, jingoism, and irrational autocratic fervor. A party becomes a cult.

September 11, 2001 occurs. A buncha guys are in DC who couldn't wait to go to Iraq. And the right wing media is shiny and tuned-up. We go kick a bunch of barbarian ass in Afghanistan, as well we should have. They were beating women and destroying Buddhas. F*k 'em. But then, The Axis of Evil Speech. And all the analysts in DC I know collectively go, "Oh, fuuuuu...they're not serious, are they?" Bill Clinton spent most of his years pounding the living snot out of Hussein. Dude built anything funny lookin', in came the rockets. There was one concerning nation-state for most, and - hint - it's in Asia. The other threat was non-state actors. **ahem* Which played out. And now - *headdesk* - they're going to Iraq. With bullshit intel.

Goddamn it. GODDAMN IT. This is going to suck, said smart people. And there's the entire right-wing think tank and media machine blaring, careening, gloating. From the gov't itself, and from every outlet. HOW DARE YOU BE SKEPTICAL? WE HAVE AGENCIES! INTEL! IT'S SECRET! DO YOU WANT MORE PLANES IN YOUR NOSTRILS, UP YOUR BUTTS? BE PATRIOTIC! And goddamn, did those media outlets sell a lot of ads for trucks, pain killers, pharmaceuticals and financial services. $$$$$$ Many earnest patriots also pointed out, hey, um, there apparently are no weapons that could have blown up Cleveland, so... But now, this whole thing has morphed into tribalism. YES THEY DID TOO FIND WEAPONS OF MASS DEPRESSION AND YOU SUCK BUSH ROCKS PUSSY Ann Coulter comes on TV to talk over B-roll of rusty munitions WE SOLD HUSSEIN and said, well look, there they are. Total. Propaganda. America looks like shit. Our intel services take a helluva beating. Iraq's invasion - which was basically unplanned - results in chaos. Katrina. Bush. Looking out the window. Confused. Hey, but in intel news, the National Geospatial-Intel Agency helps critically.

2008. The housing Ponzi we used to get out of the DotComBust-9/11-era recession has now gone pear-shaped. Utterly nuclear. America's banks, the one thing other than movies and video games we do reliably, all shit the bed simultaneously. We then elect a cappuccino-colored president whose middle name is Hussein. The Right goes completely over the f**king cliff into insane. They start the TEA PARTY! YO REMEMBER BOSTON! PAAAATRIOTS SOMETHING SOMETHING! TEA PARTY! NOTHING MATTERS TAKE IT ALL BACK YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! This political movement happens when the only thing Obama has really said with conviction is "Fired up! Ready to go!" In late November 2008. But ON GEORGE WASHINGTON'S GRAVE THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!!! And the entire right-wing media gets its next several years of revenue LOCKED. Now, we've got a really, reaaaally fertile field in which former KGB agents can make a long play. And Moscow gets to work.

America's at this weird nihilistic place, which is one thing for France and Russia, but NOT for earnest midwesterners who are agape. Now the American Left has got some juice back again. But the Right is just apoplectic from pure suffering. Both are ripe for subversion. The Left is out of love with American business and military-industrial, the Right foams at the mouth against legitimate government. And the guys who have been twisting minds from Vladivostok to Havana and back get to work building an "alt" media structure. We've already covered the genius of that who Wikileaks op on the Left. SCORE!

Now for the perversion of the formerly nationalist Right. JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST THERE'S A BLACK DUDE IN THE WHITE HOUSE! LIVING THERE! It's not hard to convince Southerners this is insane. But put a little elbow grease in on some internet forums, and pretty soon you can have Northern John Adams-type conservatives, too. A whole generation of disaffect Rush Limbaugh fans (WE LISTENED AND DITTOED SO HARD WHY IS THERE A BLACK DUDE THERE?) is ripe for picking.

In addition to alt-finance sites and "Russia Today" a new TV network, they start infiltrating "social media." Disclosure: Because I'm mouthy all the time like this, RT had me on as a guest. They prop up US "subversives." And they don't edit you! Fun fact: Al Jazeera and RT just let me talk. US media almost always wants some hand in your final product before booking you. Ironic, no? But from about 2009 to the 2016 election, a madness is being brewed and slowly poured down the throats of increasingly hysterical Americans. When you imbibe from this potion, everything is awful and everyone official is lying to you. Only other members of the cult are with you! US media, which is complicit in many of our problems, is portrayed for the extremists as conspiratorial liars. All the time. Formerly sane members of US society start sounding like my schizophrenic grandfather, who said Government was keeping him from His Mission. Only the Gubmint knew the Archangel Gabriel was sending him to find the next Jesus. So, cut it out, CIA! Stop it, Giant Conspiracy!

And then people you knew from Functional Daily Life started talking that way. People with car dealerships. Dentists. Regular folk. They started with CONSPIRACY, especially after 2012, because DAMMIT NO THERE SHOULDN'T BE A BLACK DUDE TWO TERMS NOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO NO THEY ARE ALL IN ON IT. THE CORPORATIONS. THE MEDIA WHORES. THE GOVERNMENT! (except for my Medicare, don't touch that) ALL OF THEM! A CABAL CALLED The Pentaveret: The Queen. The Pope. The Gettys. The Rothschilds. AND COLONEL SANDERS, BEFORE HE WENT TITS UP!

If you haven't unfollowed by now, 1. You're nuts and 2. Thank you for indulging my So I Married an Axe Murderer reference.

MOVING ON. The conspiratorial fever at about 108, we begin the 2016 election - AGAINST EVERYTHING HOLY - in 2015. The Republicans debate over 712 times, discussing topics such as who hated Obamacare more, and who had a large penis. Jesus, that happened. The Democrats all debate who's going to get out of Hillary's way first, except for VERMONT'S OWN BERNIE SANDERS, who...gets popular? I'm from Vermont and have known Bernie forever, so I'm very surprised, but everyone kinda likes it. Hillary wins anyhow.

And now, the target for electoral mischief is enormous. Hillary is the most known quantity in America, with huge backstory. Creating a conspiracy narrative around the Clintons is like creating a "southern" narrative around NASCAR and grits. Now - with Trump as the non-conformist, not-like-all-the-other-rotten-conspiratorial-assholes paragon, the Russians go into overdrive. The Russians didn't create Trump - only New York City and American gullibility could have done that. But they've got a SWEETHEART outcome. Trump - a moron - is probably unlikely to take the whole enchilada, but that's perfect. If he gets close enough, he can cry UNFAIR! forever. Amazing scenario for Russia - instead of RT, they get an institutional nihilist chowderhead with American credentials. They butter him up. Hell, to hear many tell of it, they have kompromat on him. But anyhow, they invest in his stuff. He was there in 2013. They have a lever. IF on the off chance, Trump actually (and who could guess this) wins, then...wow, they've got quite an opening.

Either way, on the run-up to Nov 2016, Russian involvement was as subtle as a fart in a spacesuit. (Scroll down my TL for details.) The U.S. IC had its hair on fire. This situation was incredibly dangerous. A paranoid U.S. faction backing a rogue with ties to Russia.

OK, Jesus, at LONG LAST, back to my initial premise. Why didn't Obama and Clinton "do something?"

JESUS, WHAT CAN YOU DO?

You come out and have the CIA enter the goddamn race for Clinton? True or not, we look like some weird cryptofascist state. Or, you let the Russkis laugh and taunt and infiltrate Facebook with majillions of propaganda tales for idiots? Just let them run around? Do you come out the day after this totally weird-smelling abomination of an election with all its technical difficulties? Do you tell America the day after the election that Russia spearfished all of our think tanks in brazen fashion?

Hillary, for her part, gives a brief and all-too-calm speech and goes hiking. Probably the best move on the board.

Obama WELCOMES! Mr. Trump in an intense, welcoming welcome. To the White House. Mr. Big Winner Guy! Welcome! Fellow American! Trump looks like he swallowed a goldfish and stares at the floor a bit too long. As if maybe a joke has gone too far. In the next month, a small band of propagandists run in a circle and try to look like they're forming a government. It's ungainly.

And now, it's December 11th. Trump says he don't need no stinkin' intel agencies. Russia (BWA HAHAHAHAAAA) blames Ukraine! LOLOLOLOLZZZ A lot of Republicans stare into the middle distance, except for McCain and Graham who are NOT HAVING THIS SHIT. (I salute you, gentlemen.)

And here we are. Americans. Hopefully soon united. This isn't a partisan issue. Obama isn't late to the party. People are doing their jobs. If you think any of this is easy, you're ignorant and delusional.

Tonight, though, I write to you with great hope. This may be America's finest hour, as we act together with unshakable resolve to deal with enemies foreign and domestic. We have done so in the past and come out a stronger, more just, more pluralistic nation. We will do so now. And for me? Or die trying.

America is the steward of a genius system entrusted to flawed stewards whose descendants seem to act on the right side of history. This system is not rotten, not beyond repair, not exiled from the future. We have been infiltrated by agents who would drive us mad. This is a nation built on civilization, humanity, and reason, rejecting the febrile superstitions of the past. It must stand. And will. We are at present in a place of danger where some of our fellow citizens have forgotten our most cherished values. We've been here before.

America, reluctantly but dutifully, recognizes its internal contradictions and failings. Slavery. Racism. Internment. Classism. The genius documents that gave rise to noble American sentiments were themselves authored by those who failed them. (h/t @ Mr. Jefferson) We spilled the blood of our brothers to resolve the contradictions of slavery and then abandoned the project while killing Indians. Americans proclaimed the equality of all men while treating women as chattel and all non-whites as lesser. We are indeed hypocrites. But to be American is to accept that unflinchingly and to soldier forth for future generations, and DO BETTER, GODDAMN IT.

There are those who would mire us in worldly cynicism, to anchor us in a world where our institutions betray forever, where values perish. And to be American is to face that intellectual, moral, and spiritual assault with the unshakeable devotion to something more lofty. And when that loftiness fails, as it so often does, to be American is to seize it again and again, knowing that our Creator desire Progress. Progress can come from Traditionalists or Labor Unionists or mystics or musicians or doctors or Senators or journalists. All are exhorted. The Progress demanded by our Creator can be achieved by immigrants and natives, skeptics and believers, the elite and the humble alike. That is America. That is the promise that Americans oft ignore and which more cynical nations would defile for their own gain. That America will last long after I have died, long after new people have picked the torch.

Long after we betray it again, as we will.

But America will go on, even if by another name, unless all who have heard her name are extinguished. This is just the locus of promise. America came from the olive groves of Italy and the shipyard of Plymouth and the islands of the Philippines. Indivisible. America came from the Torah and Voltaire's Candide and Adam Smith and zen koans and Greek mathematics and Rumi's poetry. America is all these things, and should yet another absolutist demagogue, foreign or domestic seize her, it will be far from the end. Now is a time for patriots.

It's also Sunday afternoon. I'm gonna get a beer and watch football.

God Bless America, and all nations.

appalooser wrote:what the fuck is that lol

https://tcrf.net/The_New_Tetris#DaveRant

found epoch on reddit

I have a huge crush on Star Butterfly from Star vs. The Forces of Evil. I've read fanfics and seen rule 34 of her and I always feel gross afterwards but I keep coming back for more. It's kinda weird cause technically she's an alien but she looks exactly like a human but idgaf fuck it. also i just watched gravity falls and holy shit, Wendy, what a BABE. goddam i hope one day i can find a super cute redhead woodsy girl whos super chill and hot af. like remember that episode where shes the lifeguard and is wearing that one-piece bathing suit. GODDAMN TONGUE GET OFF THE FLOOR. i just wanna take all dat red hair and just grab it xD

wait why is it epic

Okay, I made a motherfucking statement. If you don’t like my statement, bitch, unfriend me and don’t go telling your fat sloppy nasty budding ass friend what the fuck I said. What I said was is if you were in Waffle House and you in the club every night and your kids ain’t there, you don’t need to be there. So afro caribbean talking about a hit dog with holler, bitch you got ran the fuck over with that statement, because bitches, y’all the first bitches that hit me up. The bitches that I was actually talking to never said nothing but I guess I am talking to you now. If you in the club and your child is not motherfucking paid for okay, don’t tell me about me not having my kids, my oldest son is taken care of. My second son I probably don’t have and that’s gotta do with some shit with my momma but I don’t need to fucking explain it. Like I motherfucking said, bitch, don’t be in the motherfucking club and motherfucking that Waffle House and hungover and can’t get up the next morning to feed your motherfucking kids. So if you felt hit, bitch I was talking to you. While you’re worrying about me and what kids I got, find out where the fuck your wife is bitch, because that’s the bitch that upgraded you and made you who the fuck you was. You ain’t never taken care of your kids Nunu, did you forget I always had London? You didn’t even know how to change her diaper you sloppy body ass bitch. Talking about how you have money, bitch you got like 6 fast food jobs like a motherfucking Mexican. When in the fuck, when in the fuck did you become a boss bitch. Your bitch was still paying all the bills and your broke ass doing shit while you’re running around and talking motherfucking shit, don’t worry about me. Find you a bitch that don’t gotta upgrade you that you can actually upgrade. And she’s about to get kicked out soon, when the fuck is that motherfucking warrant gonna hit that motherfucking door hoe. You never know what the next bitch know about you. I just don’t give a fuck. Don’t come to me about my kids, bitch, because it has been several times I was finna whoop that ass and you ain’t want none, you wanted to be sisters. So bitch, here’s your sister giving you a word of advice. If that motherfucking status touched you so much bitch, go home, feed your kids, put the drink down with your beer belly having ass, okay, and worry about your kids, okay. Again, Dora, since you wanna pass motherfucking messages when I just told your monkey ass I wasn’t talking to you, how about you pass this one because I’m talking to the both of you motherfucking hoes. Don’t call me sister and play two-face with Nunu and tell her that I’m talking about her, because bitch it wasn’t nothing about you, I don’t give a fuck about you. Y’all ain’t got shit that I fucking want. Both you bitches sleep together, I sleep in my own fucking house. Both you bitches work fast food and airport jobs. Bitch, I sit behind a desk. Don’t worry, I’ll motherfucking wait. I’m self motherfucking made making more than $800 a motherfucking day off nothing. I ain’t gotta sell pussy or shake it, unlike Nunu was selling pussy at one point in time and you still ain’t got no dollars. That’s why you reserve to flipping motherfucking burgers and “Can I take your order?” face ass bitch. Don’t fucking try me. How about you try a bitch that you can motherfucking try. Now back to my motherfucking son because yes, unlike you bitch, his dad did take him but at least I know who his dad is. Do you know who London’s daddy is? Do you know who yellow boy’s daddy is? AH, I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch or is it your uncle that you claim he used to go with all the time. Run these motherfucking hands that you feel hit, bitch.

here is the fuck bees cube

The goddamn Apple Store is so fucking trendy these motherfuckers don’t even use cash registers anymore. Like holy shit why would I ever want to wait in line to pay for my immensely overpriced lightning bolt-to-usb cable, when I can wander around aimlessly looking for the one bearded top knot in the grey shirt who happens to have a card reader attached to his free iPhone 6? Literally fucking walked up a dude and was like ‘Yo where’s the till?’ And guy looks at me straight in the fucking face and says, ‘Oh well, there should be one or two people walking around on either side of the store who can process your payment.’ ALL OF YOU DRESS EXACTLY THE SAME! Am I supposed to accost every single goddamn one of you until I finally find the one goddamn fucking anthropomorphisized Mac Computer who is willing to let me pay for this shit? And when I finally find the dude and let him tap his shit against the box that I’m trying to purchase, of course he gives me the smuggest fucking smile I’ve ever seen on a human face and asks, ‘Would you like to use Apple Pay?’ Like GOOD LORD can we please just take a step outside of your möbius fucking circle jerk and let me hand you fifteen pounds in cash? Cash money? Real fucking physical fucking tender? No it’s okay, I don’t need a fucking receipt. What, you mean you’re going to print me a real receipt? A physical receipt that I can carry in my pocket? You’re not gonna beam it to my fucking wrist? You’re not going to send it via dropbox to an undisclosed fucking IP Address where I have to complete a CAPTCHA and accept your terms and conditions for the one millionth time in order to check that, yes, I did just spend £20 pounds and 45 minutes on a thin wire made of plastic and metal that’s gonna break in a month anyway? I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PLANET ANYMORE

Actually just created a Reddit account just to post in this. Been reading forever, never felt a need to post until now.
When i was 12 years old I live in San Ramon Ca in the house directly above your condo (Canyon Lakes Country Club). I lived with my Dad and we saw you on a regular basis. You regularly came home, probably drunk, at 1am in the morning honking your horn and revving your engine to let the entire neighborhood know that your self entitled pompous ass was home. I was out walking my dog one day and it barked at you (probably because she knew you were human scum) and you threatened to shoot 'that godamn dog if it doesn't shut up'. You said that to a 12 year old.
Suffice to say, your complaints were heard by someone and the police came and threatened to take the dog from me, a 12 year old boy whose parents had just gone through a terrible divorce and whose dog was literally his only friend in the world. My Dad had no choice but to find a new home for my best friend and gave her away to a good family without even warning me (he knew I would freak out, and did). I never saw her again. I still to this day have never forgiven my father for doing that, or you for causing it.
I only hope the one day you realize what a horrible human being you have been and how poorly you have treated those around you and live with that guilt until you die lonely and miserable.
Seriously.

This fucking face baffles me. It's almost incomprehensibly ugly. It's like some kind of fucking ugliness singularity. Nothing about it is really strange, and that's what's most amazing about it. It's not freakish, just profoundly ugly. It's too ugly to be attractive and yet not ugly enough to be humorous or interesting. This face could walk past me hand in hand with a guy who has buck teeth, a hook nose, bug-eyes, no chin, alopecia, and albinism and yet it's this face I'd be grimacing at in disgust. This is the kind of weapons-grade black-market-plutonium ugliness you can only get with a room full of fucking scientists set to the task of making the most disgusting female face ever to stain the Earth with its sheer repulsiveness. The fact that Bioware managed to create such a monstrosity, presumably without the aid of a mad genius aesthetician branded with the unholy mark of Satan and cursed to do his work in the mortal plane, is nothing short of astounding. It's hard to put my finger on any one feature as being the worst offender. Is it the raccoon eyes? The pug nose? The gormless dopey smile? The mound of fat at the base of her jaw? The weird skin texture that makes it look like she washes her face every morning with a hand-towel made of undercooked bacon? I've seen punchable faces before, and this is no punchable face. This is a face that I could not be persuaded to touch for any amount of time, for any amount of money. I am a worse person for having seen it. Jesus Christ.

Fuck off, you fucking Aspie
You are a piece of shit and I don't give a single fuck about anything you have to say. Go fuck yourself, you self-righteous ass.
You're pathetic.
You aren't bringing anything into my head besides reinforcing how you are a piece of fucking trash. People like you need a hard wake-up call from reality. I sincerely hope you try to pull your pathetic "pseudo-intellectual" bullshit in person on someone someday and they beat you to a bloody fucking pulp. You deserve it.
What I can't come to terms with is how fucking stupid and obstinate you are.
Fuck you, fuck everything you stand for, and fuck every single thing about you.
Again, fuck off, you fucking Aspie.
Don't you dare call me uneducated, you fucking piece of shit. You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.
You are scum.
I'm going to just stop talking to you, because you are obviously fucking retarded. Fuck off.

some spicy new organic pasta
https://www.reddit.com/r/place/comments/652dmq/i_am_complete/dg8fl7d/

Haha god it's just so obvious how much you hate yourself eh. You're probably 14/15 right? Think you understand the world around you. Think your opinions are the real truth. Your future is written in everything that you write. And you probably think you're so complicated and unique. I can read you like a children's 5 page book. You're a nothing. And I wish anything I could say would change that, but frankly you're just one of the students that needs to fill the ranks at Mcdonalds. It's a hard truth but you need to swallow it quickly. You are not a creator, you are a destroyer. Someone that puts down everyone around themselves until they form a hole where there's only room for you. You lonely, sad fucking pit of pathetic. You will never be anything in this life. You will get up every day wanting to change yourself and be better today. But you'll never escape who you are. A nobody. So enjoy your life, enjoy putting people down, enjoy never amounting to anything. At least I'm doing something with my life, no matter how small you think that is. If doing this kind of shit online is what gets you to sleep at night, then go ahead. But never forget that you will live this life alone, depressed, and believing you are something more than you are. But it's just the opposite. You're a zero.

I can't get over what an autistic fuck you must be to believe that showing a picture of yourself is actually going to win you an argument. I'm just beside myself with how you actually have made it through life this far. You try to see the positive in the world? Fuck you man. The comments you leave are a cancer on this site. You try to see positives by putting everyone down around you. You're a bully, and a loser, and a nobody. And you will never become anything in your life. You've most likely been handed anything of value straight to you, and never had to work for anything in your life. You're a fucking smudge on this planet that will be wiped away without a second thought. I can only imagine that the people around you just deal with you. This all started because you're a bigot and couldn't stand someone looking at a piece of art like it was a piece of art. You are brainless. And incapable of being anything more than a zero. And I still can't get over that you are retarded enough to post a picture of yourself online and then boast about it like it gives you some kind of justification. You're so simple. After finding out who you are I hope you're ready for some fun shit to be sent to your friends and family.

edit: I see this post got crossposted to /r/bestof, but more disturbingly /r/theredpill, and let me tell you trenchcoat wearing neckbeards something before yall try to crown me the king of you dry dick mother fuckers. For all the colossal shitting I just did on hoes in this post, this is not in any way representative of the female population at large. I'm simply speaking on a small, super super small, minority subculture. I would never imply or suggest that all women, not even a majority, are out here throwin the pussy like a boomerang hoping to catch some rich dude sperm. I still put ladies above everything. That's still your mama, that's still your sister, that's still the mother of your children. This post is not meant to be critical of women; rather, its meant to be critical of money and the economy (created by dudes) that women are forced to live in. It's not because women are manipulative, its because men are fucking retarded, I stated that from the jump. Cons come in all genders, if men could get a cozy 18 year stipend from fucking Hillary Clinton there would be a line of thirst wrapped around the white house. Even though I shits on these hoes, I still respect them like they my own family, because they are. I'm familiar with TRP, yall the most salty, confused, sexually depraved group of misogynistic no pussy gettin dudes I ever seen, that's real. Ain't no need to start a war on women cause you ugly and you ain't got no money and you fell for the sweet smell of that vaginal lining. That's on you dude; blaming the pussy for this is like blaming video games for school violence. At some point you took the stupidity into your own hands. That ain't the wave yall

Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen.

You really do need to get into the mindset of the faggot atheist Redditor to understand why this show is so popular. These people have never heard of adult animation in their lifes that wasn't stuff like Family Guy, it was completely alien to them. And they can't laugh at these shows because they consider these shows stupid. They want a show that isn't necessarily smart or funny or well-written, but that appears to be to appeal to their surface-level taste. Because these people live for that mindless self-validation. They don't actually understand what makes for good writing or good comedy, nor have they ever picked a book about physics. They want to pretend they do so and circlejerk themselves, that's what matters. Rick and Morty is just perfect for its demographic: these same college-age self-important Bernouts who "fucking love science". The entire foundation of the show is built upon the dichotomy between "silly sci-fi humor and references" and " things are super deep and tragic bro". This pseudo-intellectual "nothing even matters, I'm insecure about existence, we are all going to die" bullshit that R&M shits out in almost every episode is what appeals to it's audience. The show doesn't actually have the tact to even begin to offer an interesting presentation and discussion of any philosophy, so it spouts these edgy teenage catchphrases. Nevermind the bean-headed, noodle-limbed unexpressive character design, or how the story is non-existent and only comes up when the writers beg you to feel something for these characters so devoid of substance, or how the entire show is a trendy forgettable scenario of the week memefest with just enough sci-fi references to trick kids into thinking they are smart for understanding them, or how the characters have somehow been reduced to even more obnoxious caricatures than before, none of these things matter. What matters is that it appeals to the millenial redditor audience, and that's what's selling Rick and Morty.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE FUCKING WEEEEEEEEED AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DUDE!!!!!!!!!! WEED!!!!!!!!!!!! hits bong FUCKING DUUUUUUDE that WEEED like just...................DUDE LMFFFFFAAAAAAOOOO i am so fucking HIGH on WEED right now XD WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED holla my DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JUST.........ROLL................MY.......................JOINT......................UP........................................AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DANK DANK DANK WEED LEGALIZE IT! LEGALIZE IT! LEGALIZE IT! ROLL EM SMOKE EM PUT EM IN A BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am just FUCKING BAKED right now my DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOO RAISE YO HAND IF U TURNT AF RIGHT NOW raises both hands AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WEED DUDE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I SMOKE 2 JOINTS IN DA MORNIN MON...........DUDE! WEED! HAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LIKE A FUCKIN KITE RIGHT NOW MY DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! S O F U C K I N G H I G H O N W E E D I CANT EVEN FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMOKING ONLY THE DANKEST OF HERB MY DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOME OF THAT TRIPLE BANANA WINSTON CHURCHILL MEGA DANK GAZA GRASS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIN SO FUCKIN BLAZED RIGHT NOW DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDE AHAHAHAHHAA BAZINGA inhales YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cough THIS cough SHIT cough IS cough SO cough FUCKIN cough DANK my DUDE HAAHHAAAHAHAHAHAH WHY AM I EVEN LAUGHING ROTFLMAOO THIS SHIT IS NARSH BRO FUCKIN HELLA SMOKE WEED ERR DAY YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

To be fair, I did nazi that coming. I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'merican I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now. /thread.

Edit: Thanks for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger.