mac b's diy general

buying the still today lol

also got these two 2-quarts, one apple juice, one red-grape juice
you know what that means
but since i cant really find a suitable 1 gal container i will most likely be fermenting them in their native containers. i only have one airlock, so only one of them will get it. and thats if i can even nigerian rig the thing in there. id have to put the mahonkas on it to get a place for it.
last time i tried cutting into a plastic lid like the ones that come in fruit juice containers, i ended up having to cut it in the side of the container. i do not have the luxury of such headroom here so if i cant nick the lid right i may up just not even using my airlock and improvising on both of them.

btw said improvisations are either a.) saran wrap + rubber band b.)foil??? c.)balloons and possibly d.) stretched cloth
any way of covering these should beat the ominously oxidizing fermentation method of grandpappy (just not fully closing the lid... you can see why this failed, though one wine run did succeed in this, however it wasn't fermenting for very long)

Alright so it's been a while since I've updated. To spare y'all the fine details and spare myself my tight time;
-Had two bottles fermenting. One apple cider, one classic grape wine.
-There were flies and baby flies in the grape wine and it'd oxidized. I never have any luck with classic grape wine.
-There was also a single fly in my cider. I won't be selling this but I racked and bottled it anyways. You may think it's disgusting and it is, no doubt, but I've had worse things in my food. Plus I love racking and bottling.
-On the plus side, the two bottles of cider were fairly clear (a good thing) and had almost no lees in the bottle over a week. (also a good thing as, ais, I'm working on keeping the lees out as much as possible
-Given thought and taking into account the fly in the cider, I'm thinking of just going on and fermenting another 2 quarts and distillin' em' into apple whiskey. Which should remove most of the, you know, "fly essence"
-I found out the still I bought was imported from China. I am outraged! No wonder the damn thing was all banged up out of the box.
-I do need a copper tube to connect the pot and the condenser. If this were a still made by anyone who knows shit about stills, you'd know not to have the condenser RIGHT ON TOP OF THE FUCKING BOILER WHERE IS YOUR COMMON SENSE DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A CONDENSER IS SUPPOSED TO DO.
It pains me but due to lack of resources it's basically the only way I can get on with this sooner. Shoulda just went ahead and bought that alembic. At least those europeans actually fucking know what a still is.
-Planning to make another stop at Adventures in Homebrewing this week to pick up some supplies. I had to throw my airlock out cause I can't trust one that lets flies get i when it has a cap on it
-I'm seriously confused as to how flies got in any of those, they were both effectively sealed - i mean technically not but you get me.
-Due to this flu business I am forced to relocate where my babies ferment. Also gotta buy a proper fermentor and such....
-This out of the way, after I finish hooking this pitiful lil still up I'm going to make -Some beer at long last, most likely a pale ale but anything could happen -Afformentioned Raspberry Wine... I hope these raspberries are suited fore winerating -Some fucking novelty candy liquor i dont know fuck -shine's the word.
-Bacon cheese flavored beeer
So much for not pushin my time

"novelty candy liqour" is in fact onna be candied apple liqour
Gonna start up a catalog for muh customers when I get things in order.

For the sake of keeping it fresh in convenient memory, recipe is gonna be as follows
Mix in a some honey with a gallon of apple juice, add yeast and ferment for a week and 2-4 days
Let it rest in secondary till fully clear
Distill
Cut into some fresh apples, leave them in jug holding resulting distillate
Remove after a night our two, pour in a little apple juice to accent, add caramel flavoring.

Fucking eager to get into thiss

Brewmaster Mac wrote:-Bacon cheese flavored beeer

sweet jesus

yeah modern flavor extracts are great huh

3 pounds of malt extract and my fermenting bucket came in today. gramps said he might take me to get a copper pipe soon since the one i bought wasnt fucking sent to me

so how's the alcohol business going otherwise

it's been at a standstill since I've had nothing to brew basically. I haven't really advertised the two bottles of cider I have aside to customer #1 (he's the only one that'd buy something like that i'd guess, most folks around here are more into beer n liquor)
In between trying to get a simple fuckin pipe to get my still hooked up and getting this today, there hasn't been much honestly going on, but that'll change real fast.

I've talked to some people who said they'd be interested in buying some moonshine but I don't like advertising without a product, so I held the business info til then. I'm hoping at least Halloween I'll have some customers. You know how kids like getting drunk at pumpk'n parties, and I'm acquaintances with this one bunch, one of whom drank 28 fucking beers last Halloween (or at least that's how the legend goes), so yeah business there.

I have a enough malt for 3 gallons of beer, but I might split it up and save a pound to throw into the moonshine. Been thinking of making a catalog.

man you shoulda made pumpkin spice beer it would've sold like

like
uh

pumpkin spice
at a starbucks

you and your hipster drinks, room
am wanting to make something halloween themed def tho

though a pumpkin based brew is pretty appealing.
if ive got resources ill give it a try

got plenty of time on my hands, at least til' next thursday. will at least get this beer started. i fear it'll be pretty ah... "uninteresting" as I have none of the fancy ingredients llike hops or really even grain. basically all just malt, so it'll be an ale.

Might brew tonight
ill go ahead and throw in that leftover pound of wildflower honey i used for my cyser if i can find the shit.
this ofc is a good opportunity to test this fermentin' bucket.

there was a shit ton of grapes over here for some reason. mom urged me to make wine out of them. would have if she didnt mention they were going bad

god i fucking love brewing and bottling
nothing else distracts me from this terrible existence like it

it has occured to me
though it may not be the best idea
i could use some canned corn and turn this ale into some base corn beer (could be made into moooooonsh... im gonna see how long i can go without using that word on this thread)
and while youd need pounds/a shit ton of canned corn lying around to get a similar effect of you know fucking NORMAL CORN that is exactly what I have cause my grandmother hoards everything

all honestly ill probably throw in about 4 cans or so which wont be too much i guess, at the very least will have an accent on the outcome flavor, and if no other purpose whatsoever, will substitute for the lack of hops

got some cornmeal today
brewing corn beer tonight

im still fucking livid over those spics not delivering my copper pipe

gramps helped me hook up the still.
we still need some plastic tubing for the condenser but other than that it's good to go. I should also make a stand for the condenser cause as it sits now it is being held up by nothing more than the clamp connecting it to the mouth of the boiler.

unfortunately didn't brew corn beer those past two times I said i would. first time I couldn't find any corn. second time i fell asleep. (I brew a little past midnight -- this includes EVERYTHING, from my sauces to my booze, etc.) and even if I could've staked it out, it wouldn't be wise to brew sleepy.
Also - It would be less wise to distill sleepy. Which is why as of now I will start doing dangerous amounts of cocaine to stay up and brew.
(fucking joking)

I wonder if I can use the tubes from my nebulizer for the water condensation
Just sterillize an old tube, sounds good to me.
But nah, I'll likely not do that. Better off buying fresh tubes anyways

alright in about an hour or two (or just whenever granny goes to bed) i will have the opportunity to brew
according to her theres nothing here that holds 4 gallons but i bet i'll find something. if nothing else I could use the boiler of my still. really don't want to have to do that but I can compromise, I'll just have to clean it out a bit given all goes well.

reason why im posting about every little moment leading up to this is because holy fuck im brewing my first batch of corn beer-to be.
and you know why we love corn beer
lets see, in an hour ir'll be the 23rd, if I keep the fermentation short n sweet, I could have a big ol' batch of DAMN GOOD by halloween

Alright boys, about to get Mahonkas up in this bitch.
Gonna be doing this a gallon or two at a time in this bigass pot-thing
Making history here.

on the waiting period for the first gallon(?) or so.
brewing was half a fuckin disaster
who wouldve knew
that malt was heavier than syrup
and didnt make a SOUND when it falls
me, ill tell ya who, i know that now.
the whole of this process is really blind and half aimed. i think i ended up scorching a little of the mash, unfortunately. Ah well, first time for everything, right?
I don't have any iodine so I can't really test the mixture iffin when the starches get converted to sugar. for all i know the majority may already have. for all i know they could -- not be. (this thought is particularly tragic and a bit less hopefully possible cause ive been experimentally brewing for maybe 2-3 hours... On the first Gal! And taking that into consideration it may already have!)
even if the universe hates me and it turns out being the latter, there's still malt in the mixture, so even if the malt doesn't turn the cornmeal starch to sugar that'll be it's fallback.

Also, I ended up using up about a half of the fucking malt here. 3 pounds. that'd be 1.5 in this gallon alone, maybe more. yeed.
this thing usually happens when i make really anything for the first time -- i get a little carried away with the ingredients and add a bit more than called for. (this heralds back to every sauce I whipped up for the first time, every mead-brew, every pussy I grabbed... you know)
This brew's been such a mess, next gallon I push through has to be much more civilized.

been brewing for 4 fucking hours straight

i think i fucked something up on the second gallon. might have done something different, i dont know. fuck, i am so tired. cant smell malt for another minute, ain't felt that way since I brewwed the cyser

Gramps n me have been goin back n forth over setting up the still. all we need are tubes for the condenser, but he got the wrong size and is skeptical whether or not the plastic will hold under the heat, which it should cause it's not really connected to the pipe and is meant for travelling cooling water

also this has been fermenting for almost 2 weeks now lol
on the bright side it's likely entered secondary fermentation
itll be a bitch to clean out the bucket though

yeah the mash has just been uh
sittin' there

i don't want to entertain the idea that anything got in the fermentation bucket over this amount of time, so i'd be pissed if that did happen
i am becoming restless. i'll fucking nigerian rig the condenser tubes with plastic bottles or some shit if I have to. gramps warns me to not use the stovetop to distill ("the smell" he says) and insists he has a turkey cooker and that we should do it outside, however if he doesn't dig up the cooker by next saturday then I'll take the risk and burn off this mash at midnight.
I have about a gallon of grape juice to ferment (probably going to be my first actual purple wine following every other time's failure) and I want to have something to bottle pretty soon. not to mention the raspberry wine for my boy's mom, which, by the way, I bought some raspberries from walmart not too long ago and they FUCKING DISAPPEARED AS SOON AS I GOT HOME so I'll have to buy another fuckin pound i guess

also i need to save up for a mini fridge to keep my bottled's in.
hopefully that won't be too long. I am currently and intently saving up for a new pc.

when mac b says 'mash' i just think of mashed potatoes

i think of the old tv show

im referring to all 3 B]

gramps hooked up the condenser circulation unit. i think you have to have like a saucepan with water and the tubes circulating THAT water but this U thing will do just fine lol
As she stands now, she is fully functional. Gramps insists to add this copper tube to extend the anus/mouth of it so nobody will have to hold the jars up to the little Chinese pucker, which I'm in support of but itll take some shit gettin it on there